Friends

Been listening to a lot of music lately. I haven't been sticking to any particular genre: if it feels like it's worth listening to by me, then it gets played. It's been helping me throughout these past couple of weeks.
A couple of coworkers have listened to my story. They've also been inclined to keep an ear out for affordable places to rent. The prospect is looking good actually. And the damndest thing: I seem to pass by oodles of apartment complexes to and from work. Funny how you never know those things exist unless you need them.
Elune has seemed to become more affectionate. I really wish I could say how she reacts when John is around, but he never comes by the house when I am here. I still need to get her out of the habit of pawing and clawing at my feet when I am sleeping... damn hyper active little... even now she is running back and forth from the front room to the back chasing lord knows what and I just heard a loud metallic thumping sound. What did she get into this time:

Apparently it was Takkun jumping onto the recliner so fast he hit the wall behind it. Ah, to have kids...
But in any case, even though the situation is a sad one, it feels like it has been looking up. I am still sad, but at the same time, I believe I have gotten over most of the feelings of our break up. Which makes me wonder if this will just come back with full force later on. In other news I have a date Sunday. Damn I work fast. ;P

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KOE!



It's not your birthday here yet, but it is there. So...there. :|

❤❤❤!!!

This is not just about the celeb deaths. Seriously what the fuck is with this year.
Too many people have died this year.

In traditinal Gabriel Buche style...I have decided to post smething cruel and offensive...and even hypocritical (admittingly so). It has always been my ego to confront the goth scene with my "punkish I don't give a fuck attitude"...thus, here cmes some harsh truth that few are willing to admit n either side of this lame ass competition that has becme redundant and sloppy.

I miss EUPHORIA. I miss BLU with Church Spinning new wave music, the same nights when Kent and (and guest) bombed the dancefloor with futurepop and industrial. I miss the old thursday nights when I could hit a dance floor full of freaks, and a bar room full of intellectual goth types. I think that the goth scene has become a gathering of crows...just a few left over die hards that should have phased out years ago.10 minutes ago clear

The fuzziest cat in the world who will sit and meow in my face in the morning to wake me up and feed him :)
Rain. Playing in it. Smelling it. Watching it.
Snow. Playing in it. Smelling it. Watching it.
Holding that cute boy and not wanting to let go.
Being held by that cute boy and not wanting to let go.
The memory of that "fun night" with said boy that makes me have a smile on my face for the whole week.

I am done. I am bandaged. I am ashamed for what I did. But at least now I have
a physical reason for all of this pain.

Some people do not understand, just how much previous betrayals have affected me.
The paranoia is coming back. In some ways it is worse then before. I am making
connections, with different peoples actions, that make sense in my head. They also
are reaffirming that I am flat out alone. Every single person I know, and associate
with is out to harm me.
I think I should just abandoned everything I have, take the money I have, and see
how far away I can get. Cancel the cell phone, cancel the car insurance, and just drive.
I am so scared that I am overreacting, but I am more scared that I am not. I need someone,
something to talk me down. I am scared. I don't know what I might do. I tried for months
to not take pills. To stand on my own feet. I am not strong enough to stand on my own.
So, as much as I hate to say this. I am going to bleed to night. Things are getting out of
control, and it is the one thing, I know that I can control. I am not cut out for this business
that I love, I am not cut out for this life. I don't want to die because I hope so much
that my dreams will come true. But god damnit if I don't hurt myself I am going to hurt
someone else. I'm sorry for anyone that has to read this. It's something I have to do.

I just don't know if I can trust anyone right now.

grrr, had to take out a migrating piercing today, quite grumpy about it, and unsure if repiercing makes sense after it heals up, i will have to research, if a particular piercing migrates, will ANYTHING in the same spot migrate?

Long day full of typing and packing up boxes.

Also the day of epic typos.

Culver Duck Price List =/= Culver Dick Prick Lust.

Guess I know where my mind was.


I think I fucked something up, but I guess I'll wait for some kind of actual confirmation before I stress too much about it.

I am thinking that it is about time to properly revive my lj, i have been missing it, and seem to find myself in need of the mind clearing that the faster paced more public spots just dont feel comfortable for!

so good afternoon everyone, i am sure that i have missed tons of stuff, and i hope that everyone is doing well, or at the very least is on thier way to doing so.